Life's An Adventure

Oh blah dee oh blah daa Life goes on...ohhhh la la la la life goes on

2007-02-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yeah a little weird I know but that is exactly what came into my head when I started typing this post...safest bet...don't ask.

Anyway, I am in Akron...yeah you read right...been here since Monday. My job sent me here for another training, even though I was just here for 3 days last month. I have yet to understand their theory on the order in which they train us. In fact, I'm just now being officially trained about what my specific responsibilities are as a Program Sup.

Honestly, though, I am hoping not to be here much longer. I just can't take the hours...working between 11 and 12 with no real break to speak of and only getting paid for 10...with no overtime. Plus...I have decided I am definately more of a morning person and this job is from 12:30 to 12:30...doesn't work much. The company seems to be nothing like what I was told it would be and when I recently requested a transfer to a different position with more reasonable hours...they pretty much turned me down without even considering my qualifications and said that I wasn't qualified. ARGGH. So needless to say, I have been putting out tons of resumes. I've had a few people call me back and gone in for a couple of interviews. One is with yet another call center, except they deal solely with inbound calls for claims and such. Another position is in Downtown Dayton and I have an interview with them on Monday. The gentleman I spoke to on the phone seems very nice and I think he is a Christian. I was talking to him about some of the reasons why I am seeking a different position and essentially he summed it up for me and said..."you just don't want to have to be married to your job...and I feel the exact same way" He was talking about how he went through the same thing as me when he graduated and he prayed about it and God put him right where he needed to be...he also mentioned how there is no way you could simply call that a coincidence. I'm pretty excited about where this one might go. Honestly, the quicker I can get out of my current position the better. Although I want to make sure I make the right decision...I just can't take the stress of this position much longer.

As far as wedding plans and such...I'm excited to announce the PC finally has some dates laid out in stone as far as settleing this financial stuff that needed to be taken care of before we got married. What that means is that we can set an official date. Honestly, though I don't know what we are going to do. We just don't have the money on either side of the family to do anything major even though we would love to have a celebration that everyone could be a part of. But I guess what we have to decide is whether its more important to go into our marriage having had a big party of free of as much debt as possible. I really want to get married in a church, and I know that the wedding itself doesn't have to be that expensive to be special...but we've waited this long I feel like I just want to be married. And as far as a reception is concerned...I have absolutely NO idea where to have one. I mean...we thought about having a party to celebrate regardless...but I can't even begin to think of how to work that out...especially if we have a private ceremony for our wedding.

Since PC isn't much into a lot of dancing, I thought maybe it would even be kinda cool to have tables set up with board games and stuff. I know it sounds cheezy, but that is something we both enjoy. But like I said, we may end up just doing something really really small...despite the number of people I will probably end of disappointing.

So, anyway, my lunch break it almost over so I have to head back to class/training soon. Hope everyone else is doing well. And if you've made it this far in my journal entry...you must be good at reading and interpreting jiberish.

TTYL,
Stacy

Exciting Updates

2006-11-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot to mention that I got the job I was talking about in the last post. Yeah it has been a super quick process but they only offer the training I was going to need a couple of time within the next month so I put my "notice" in at Sam's 2 days before I was done...one of them being Thanksgiving and the other black friday. Anyway, I accepted the position and there are a lot of perks to it...once you ignore the fact that I am going to be supervising in the only division that does sales
1/ They are sending me to Akron for a 3 and a half day training that deals specifically with my postion...never had that much preparation
2/ They are providing me with my own hotel room, rental car, and a debit card to pay for food while I'm there
3/ Once I get back I'll pretty much start getting benefits immediately
4/ Past all the training, which is approx. two weeks, my normal schedule is 4 days on 3 days off
5/ NO MORE RETAIL

So I was saying that I'm in the one department that deals with sales in this company. Sucky...I know because no matter what I tried everyone who is looking for a person in human resources wants someone who has experience in managment. So this will definately get me experience in that and I have definate potential for growth. The guy who is going to be my boss has only been with the company for 4 - 5 years and he started off in what my position will be just for an example.

I can't remember what I mentioned in my other post but I really like this company because within all of its other divisions it does a lot of work with conservative political campaigns, non-profits, volunteer recruitment, and religious organizations (specifically christian). I felt like this company aligned much more closely with things I supported and for that simple reason I could pass it up to stay in my dreadful position at Sam's which continued to get worse day after day.

On another note ... wedding plans. Yes PC and I are still getting married and yes, March 10 is still what I call our goal date. I haven't done hardly any planning though because we've been back and forth about size and style. Mainly, it seems we keep falling back on having a very private intimate wedding and a big celebration later. However, I have no idea how we could make that work. Plus right now, with his financial issues not being settled yet, we don't talk about it much because he wants to make sure that it is all settled before anything moves forward so that I don't end up being effected as well. (And in case you were wondering, none of this financial stuff was going on before we got engaged, so it wasn't a "you should have waited longer to get engaged" sort of deal...in fact we thought everything was over...but we had another thing coming). Right now I'm also going through this weird thing with money. I get supper stressed when I spending anything more than your averaged total sale at a walmart store on myself or if I know that someone spent any certain amount of money on me. Yeah, I get super upset and start flipping out and end up returning it eventually. However, when it comes to getting stuff for other people, I'll spend money at the drop of a hat if I know its something they really want or need. So right now, I definately wouldn't be able to spend that amount of money on a wedding. Hopefully things will get better on that end eventually ...and sooner rather than later.

Thats all for now...
I"m gonna go watch some TV

Well I had another interview

2006-11-18T04:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah, this one seemed to go really well. I had an interview with a place called Infocision Management Corporation. I was a little leary about it, because its a teleservices industry. But I was applying for a personnel coordinator position so that was ok. Anyway, I went in and luckly was able to fill out everything ahead of time because I was doing this on my lunch hour. Anyway, the people there were really nice. The facilities are cool (a gym on site and they are working on adding a day care if I were to ever need that in the very distant future). Well I went through the interview and once again the lady says ...honestly there are a lot of people applying for this position...apparently personnel is popular...she had already had 4 interviews that morning and had several more scheduled for the day. Anyway, she looked at me and said I really think you'd be better off with this other supervisor postion that we have available as well...if you think you might be interested would you mind talking to this guy over here for a bit about it. So I thought I might as well check it out...so I talked to him for a bit and he seemed really confident that I would be a good match for this position. He explained the concepts of it and even talked a little salary (which wasnt as high as I was hoping but he said there is definate potential for bonuses depending on how my team that I would manage does.) He said he wanted to talk it over with his boss and possibly bring me in for another interview. Well he called me later that same day and we are already planning another interview. The only down side I can see is that I'm going to have to be a "telemarkter" for a full week during the training process...however it isn't much differeent than what I'm doing now so I could pretty much put up with it for a while. Also, once I get past that its mainly managing my team, monitoring their calls and working with them to reach their potential. Another cool thing is that they do a lot of work with non profit organizations like American Cancer Society, Lukemia and Lymphonma society, Salvation Army, Campus Crusade for Christ ...etc...they are some of the people who call and request donations. Also, when those telethons are on tv or they have those christian speakers with the number flashing on the bottom of the screen...some of those calls go into this center...They have what they call a "religious department" I guess and they have even prayed with some of the people on the phone who call in for some of these things.

So we'll see if the second interview actually pulls through and if they like me past that one. They guy I talked to seemed pretty confidenta bout it though and he is the acting call center manager right now. If I get it though I'm going to have to go and buy a pretty much brand new wardrobe...dress at this company for everyone (including the callers) is very professional. So much, in fact that If the women wear pants (which is pretty much all I own)...you have to wear a suit jacket with it...their claim is professional dress at work leads to a professional attitude on the phone.

Ok...enough with my babbling...

It's what you call a downward spiral...

2006-11-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

Well, work hasn't gotten any better. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. Now i'm being ridiculed and scholded for spending too much time organizing and following the instructions of the wrong person, and caring too much about my job...just to name a few. Plus, the few leads I've had with new jobs recently have only lead me to..."well we aren't looking for someone with your qualifications at this time". On top of that PC is going through some financial stuff...well this has been going on for a while...and we cant' really think too much about getting married until that is settled. Also, my grammy passed away this week...I was able to see her in the hospital while she was on life support. I was planning on going up the next day to see her before they took it off...well she passed away about 10 minutes before I got there. At least she didnt' have to struggle for breath as they were taking the tubes out...she just went on her own.

Needless to say, I don't know whats going on. PC is being great with his encouragement. Reminding me that we should praise Jesus in the storms. He also said I must be doing something right to be going through so many trials right now...I just don't know what I'm doing right since everything feels like it is going wrong.

Just in case you are interested here is a link to my grammy's obituary.

http://www.snyderfuneralhomes.com/obituaries/obit_view.phtml?id=5380

Talk to you later,
Stacy

HELP

2006-11-01T03:55:00.000-08:00

I am in desperate need of a new job. My current job at Sam's Club is really starting to push me over the edge...literally. It feels like things just keep getting worse and worse...I get stressed out, my supervisors lie to me straight in my face and there is no way that I can prove it to anyone above them, it seems like I've come home crying 2-3 times a week...the list could go on and on. I know when I took this job I wasnt' planning on it being my career...but since I've been looking and looking for a new job (monster, careerbuilder, quickhire on wpafb, etc. etc.) I keep getting more and more scared that I'm going to end up there much longer than I wanted...and that makes me want to just walk out more and more.

What's even more frustrating is that I feel as though I've wasted 4 years of a college education. Honestly...I haven't even started paying it off yet but I havent even begun to use it essentially. Its almost as if I would have been much better off just starting out with an associates degree, so I could get a real career focused job and then work on my Bachelors later. I got that one all wrong. Instead, No matter what position I apply for with any company I am only ever considered for Sales positions. I feel like I totally "locked myself in" when all my employement experience through school was retail for the most part since thats who offered flexible schedules. No one wants me for my education and that really stinks.

The other day I got so mad at work I came home and immediately started calling random businesses in the Christian Blue Pages. I thought surely someone in there is hiring. Turns out, the blue pages are hiring for a position right now which I have an interview for on Friday. I also got a call back from another company who is hiring and asked me to send them my resume.

Needless to say, I'm desperate for an actual career...not a job...a career. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take the Club...as much as I need the income...I need my sanity and peace of mind knowing that I'm working for a company and employeers I can trust and respect.

Please, please help me. If you have any idea of a place that could use someone with a degree in Organizational Leadership and a minor in communications...let me know. I've been looking and looking and no one is responding. I just need something other than sales...I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to sell something to people that I can't even assure them of being able to use.

GRRRRRREAT News!!!!

2006-09-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

Ok so I can't just leave you all lingering on what the great news is...I'M ENGAGED!!! I've never felt so happy and giddy in my life. The ring is beautiful and the way PC did it was perfect.

You see, we had this thing going on when we first started dating that we would drive around everywhere. Every time we drove around we would go to Best Buy and just sit in the parking lot and end up talking so long we wouldn't want to go in. Well we pulled up and he parked in the back of the parking lot yesturday and we sat there for a few minutes when I just randomly brought up the whole thing about how funny it was when we didn't even go in to the store for like the first month we were dating ( and now we go in at least once a week) . Then he stretches really big and casually steps out of the car and leaves the engine running. This whole time i'm getting really suspicious. He walks around to my door which I've already started to opening wondering what is going on and he gets down on one knee and pulled out the ring and without going through everything he said specifically word for word...he asked me to marry him. It was wonderful. And I was definately suprised. I was expecting it on like one of our "monthaversaries" or something. We both just couldn't stop smiling it was great...and ironically on my parents anniversary...so thats pretty cool. I wish I could go on and on about how awesome the weekend was before and after but I really can't take the time to write a book right now...

Just believe me this weekend has been awesome. I had had a pretty rough week at work with stress and all but PC was doing pretty good cuz he got the good news that his contract extended which means he still has a job and that took a lot of stress off of him...which I can tell now what an amazing difference that has made. And to top it off with this new step in our lives its just so fun. Now I can have fun planning my own wedding.

Well I hope everyone else is doing well.

Bad News

2006-08-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

Well some depressing news today....Both of the really good job leads that I had turned out to be flops. The one company that I was called twice from...after talking to a few different people...turns out to be a scam. I guess several people have had some issues with Primerica and their part/full time options and the fact that you work independently and try to sell life insurance to all of your friends and family. Not my thing...so I canceled that interview.

Then this other one I was so excited about because they had called me the day after I submitted my resume and asked me to come in for an interview. Two days later, I've already got a letter in the mail saying the "thanks but no thanks" line. What a bummer.

2006-08-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

Well as I stated in my last post, to update you all, I've been working at Sam's Club for almost 3 months now. Not very long but I'm already ready for a change. I've decided the marketing aspect isn't too bad, its just the retail part that bugs me. So I've been actively putting in my resume pretty much everywhere and I mean it too. I've stayed up an extra hour or two in the evening responding to 10-15 posts on monster.com every night. Finally it seems to be working out for me. So far I've heard from 2 or 3 businesses who were given my name via a recruiter and I've also had a few companies that I directly applied for call me back. Yesturday I got a phone call from a company that I had just applied for the day before and he was wanting me to come in for an interview later that afternoon. Thankfully I wasn't working yesturday so I was able to and this sounds promising. Can't jump to any conclusions though because I have another interview today with a different company

Side note...there's a funny story about today's interview. Yesturday, after my interview I got another call from the same co. I have an interview with Today wanting to schedule me for a different interview. Apparently this place has many different compartments and really is expanding. This lady wanted me to come in for an interview with her tomorrow about the same time I have my other one. At the time I told her no but when we finally had figured out that this was the same company just a different sector and literally located across the hall from the other office I guess I should have just said I'd be a little late but I could come and meet with her too.

So just wanted to let you in on some exciting stuff going on in life. Don't know where any of these may take me but there is definate potential.

Just take my advice if you are looking, put your resume on monster, set up with the free recruiting service they have (it will explain more in detail), and check and apply for new posts every day. But most of all PRAY that God will open up doors. Thats been my biggest thing and I'm hoping that one of these just might be that answer.

Have a great day ladies,
Stacy

I Am Alive...

2006-07-26T15:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Sorry I haven't been in touch with anyone in such a long time. I've been slightly keeping up on everyone else's life through their blogs but I know I haven't posted anything in a long time. Life is going well but God is definately trying to teach me a lot of things...whether I'm listening and learning is another. There have been plenty of ups and downs but I can't complain too much. I have a job, a roof over my head and food in my mouth.

In case you didn't know, I graduated from WSU in June and now I'm working in the Marketing Department at Sam's Club ...actually been there for almost 90 days...so yeah its been a while. Definately still keeping an eye out for a job that is more suited for my degree but at least now I'm getting paid almost $4 more than I was making at the bookstore and I'm full time. Only problem is that I'm in outside sales going in and out of business and in and out of my hot car in the heat all day long.

If anyone happens to read this tonight or tomorrow I was hoping you all could keep me in your prayers. I'm going to be getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow late morning and I'm a little scared about the whole thing mainly because i've never been sedated for a surgery before and just like any other surgery there are risks.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm sorry for just disappearing. Like I said I've been learning a lot lately and God has kind of planted it on my heart that I need to do some forgiving and lots of asking for forgiveness with people who may have hurt me or I may have hurt. If you are reading this post and you are one of those people (I'm sure you know who you are) know that I forgive you and I'm working at moving on and I hope that you forgive me too.

Well I'm off to take care of PC's cat Soji...he had is "man-ness" taken from him yesturday and he's still a little bit distraught and very sleepy.

TTYL,
Stacy

What's this...another post already

2006-02-10T05:34:00.000-08:00

Yeah, its only been a week and here I am posting again already. I managed to wake up pretty early this morning, took a shower, and started a load of laundry...and I don't have to be at work till 10. How productive...I've also already turned in an assignment online that isn't due until 5. Praise God I've managed to stay on top of things this quarter and working pretty steady. Aside from the very beginning of the quarter when I freaked out and saw how much I had to do...I've been handling it pretty well. For any of you who don't know how I am about school...I usually don't handle the pressure well. Some people can deal with it fine and actually work better under it but I don't see myself as one of those people...and if I don't get cracking on one project in particular soon...I'm gonna be in some trouble.

Lets see whats been going on...yeah I said that school is going pretty well. I've been getting good grades on all my tests so far...either A's or high B's and usually those B's are the high scores in the class. Last thursday I had a test and didn't know how it would have ended up. Like I said earlier...I don't work well under pressure. Well I was with PC after my last afternoon class that day hanging out until my evening class that I had a test in. PC and I went to Best Buy so he could buy a TV and I went with him to take it home...well my car was here at my house the whole time. This TV is super nice but it was bigger than the one he had before so he had to rearrange his room in order to make it work...and I had exactly an hour until my test started. Well if there is one thing I've learned about PC...you don't get in his way when he is on a mission to get something done. I ended up standing the doorway of his room while he was rearranging furniture and stuff to get the TV to fit. Its coming on 5:45 by now and there is no way he was going to leave this mess in his room and he realized I needed to leave to take my test since I'm a good 10-15 minutes away from campus and that doesn't count time for parking. So he hands me the keys to his car and tells me to go ahead. So here I am...in a panic to get to my class on time, rushing out the door leaving my keys at his place...not a problem ... unless you think of the fact that at teh time my liscense and student ID are attached to my keys...along with any cash I might have had. So I realize this and slow down a lot on the highway cuz I don't need to get pulled over on top of all of this...I get to campus fine and realize that I do'nt have a parking pass. Thinking I would be ok...I pulled up to the visitor parking booth and asked if like the first half hour is free...usually it is isn't it. Well not at my school...so the attendent could tell that I'm getting upset and looks at me with this pathetic look and says "I'm sorry...I hope you have a good night" I even explained to him that I was a student but just had no way to prove it either and needed to get in to take my test. And since the parking Nazi's at WSU are starting to ticket later and later I new that I was going to end up getting a ticket if I parked anywhere else but I had to. So I park my car and its 6 o'clock and I'm making a mad dash across campus to get to class and run in and sit down right as the test is being pasted by my seat (talk about perfet timing...the prof didn't even see me come in late.) Well this test is an open book test but the only thing I could think of was that I was going to get a ticket on PC's car so I'm rushing through this thing...feeling confident about most of my answers but mainly super upset and stressed about not wanting to get a ticket on my boyfriends car the first time he lets me drive it. So I finished a test we were allowed 2 hours for in about 20 minutes because I didn't even look in my book...ran and dropped it off and ran back to the car praying that I didn't get a ticket the whole way. Well I didn't thank goodness but I get back to PC's place and tell him what happened and he's like "you better not have failed a test just because you were worried about a dumb ticket from WSU...you realize that they aren't "real" police officers and a ticket from there wouldn't go on any of my records"...So yes...all that worrying and rushing for nothing. And I'm sure you are all reading this thinking...why is she getting so worked up over a ticket she didn't even get...I guess it is just who I am. Thankfully, however, I got an A on that test...and had I stayed longer I would have probably ended up getting at least 2 of the 3 I missed correct if I had looked them up. So yay...God was watching over me.

Well congratulations if you made it through that long story. I didn't realize how long winded I am until I write it out...but I thought it was a funny/interesting story none-the-less.

I'm gonna get ready for work now...Tonight PC and I are going out with his parents for dinner and tomorrow I'm meeting another couple who are friends of his and we are probably going to get "dressed" up and go to Olive Garden...so I'm excited about that.

Oh, by the way...PC and I went to dinner and a movie with my parents the other night. It was a lot of fun. We went to Fuddrucker's and had dinner and lot of laughs...unfortunately some of the biggest ones were at my expense...but I guess I'm ok with that as long as everyone had fun....and I have to admit...what they were laughing at was pretty funny. Anyway, then we went to go see Triston and Isolde....good movie but long...Next week we are planning on seeing Chicken Little...quite the difference but we're excited. Its been neat to see my dad and PC interact. I really think my dad likes him a lot and PC likes him too. in fact after the movie my dad had to go to the men's room and so PC and I just started to leave...well my dad came running out of the theatre and waving us down just for me to role down the window so he could say...good movie. So anyway...thats whats been going on with me. I hope everyone else is doing well.

Quick update

2006-02-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

Well just in case anybody takes the time to check and see if I've updated recently...I thought I would let you all know that I'm still alive. Lifes been pretty hectic...as it seems for everyone here at the house this quarter. If I'm not at work, I'm at school or out with Coffee (girl friend from school) or PC. I've been staying pretty busy, but so far school is doing ok and for midterm time (wow...is it already) I think the signs are good. Although, I can't procrastinate too much longer on the papers that I have due soon...so thats coming up on my to do list.

Good news about preparing for graduation. I found out that I don't have to take 7 credit hours of "useless" classes next quarter. I only need 5 elective credit hours to graduate and it turns out I can take 6 credit hours and be considered a part time student. Soooo...next quarter it looks like things are going to be much nicer to finish out my college career. Granted I'll probably be working my butt off at work and doing lots of job searching for post graduation...but at least one thing will be taken care of. I'm also excited that I might be able to get away with just taking HPR classes ( they are like gym classes in college...aerobics, weight training, etc)...so I may end up loosing some more weight too. Woo hoo...the hard work pays off... well not as much as praying that God would give me a "break" from classes.

Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing well. Sorry I haven't been keeping up to date on everyones journal but from what I have read everyone seems to be doing pretty well...minus a few issues here and there. Praying that they all work out.

Also if you could keep someone in your prayers right now as well...I can't really go into detail...but I just feel a heavy burden to pray for them and their family. You just need to pray...God knows the details. Thanks a bunch.

CRAZY WEEK AHEAD

2006-01-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

Well, sorry about my release during that last post. I needed to let out how I was feeling about some situations in as "vague" as a way as possible, so if you didn't know the situation directly then don't worry about it...but its just what I've been feeling like lately and I needed to let it out.

Anyway, I'm really worried about this week. On top of already taking 18 credit hours worth of classes I'm also working 31 hours at the store. Basically what that means is that if there is any period of time that I'm not in class for more than an hour...I'll be working. It makes me sad cuz I won't see PC much. I'm sad when I don't get to hang out with him but we both knew going into this quarter that it would be rough. As it is...I haven't even had a chance to meet with two of the girls I discipled last quarter at school...I feel bad about that because they are both great girls but I hope they understand how crazy this quarter is. Hopefully I'll be able to catch back up with a few weeks this quarter and finish out the year next quarter since my schedule SHOULD be much lighter.

Well, I'm heading to bed soon. My busy week starts tomorrow (well it started this evening with a mtg for work) but tomorrow is a holiday so its going to be crazy.

Have a good night everyone

Life is hard sometimes

2006-01-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

So I'm finally here at a computer earlier in the evening so I thought I could use this opportunity to update my journal...just in case anyone still cares.

So in response to my title...I've really been burdened lately with a lot of things. I was sooo excited entering into this relationship but lately I've felt that "rumors" have made it super hard to keep that excitement. I've been placed in a position where I don't even want to bother to stand up for myself because I already know that the "image" people have of me has changed because of what they have heard from someone else.

It's hard to want to be around certain individuals who obviously are doing and saying some pretty hurtful things about you when you aren't around. Building up images in other peoples minds who haven't even been given a chance to figure things out for themself. And if that makes me a bad person in someones eyes....I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do to change that opinion. I feel like, even those who have known me for a long time now find themselves questioning my integrity based on something that someone else has said...and that just isn't fair in my opinion. But if any of you are wondering why I haven't been around as much...its because I don't want to stand up to the feeling that those who once looked on me with a smile are now, more than likely, talking about everything I'm doing wrong and comparing me to other people. I find it frustrating, however, that people used to get upset with me when I compared myself to other people but now its ok for them to compare me to other people. I even feel as though people who I once viewed as mentors have such a negative feeling about me because others are freely talking about me behind my back. Therefore I feel like they've already been put against me anyway.

My constant worry about all of this has also started to effect my relationship with PC. Something I hate to say, but its unneccessary when friends make it harder to be in a relationship rather than easier through their support. And even harder when they change their mind about it. Whats worse...is the reason that we aren't around the house any more is because neither one of us feels welcome here. It's a bad thing when you don't feel welcome at your own home...but at least if I'm gone it leaves plenty of room for people to discuss what they want about me. And I know for a fact that that is going on...a lot.

All in all I've come to realize that it really bothers me when people are two faced and give one impression of their personality to some people and a completely different impression of their personality to others. So that is why I'm coming forth and saying that I AM upset about this situation and I don't want to face certain people now because of what certain individuals have felt at liberty to say. I guess its part of growing pains. I feel right with God, right with my parents and right with some of my closer friends who have come to me to talk to ME (because they care about me...not improving their own reputation by talking down about me)...but unfortunately I also feel as though that doesn't matter to others. I'm finding though...that a true friend isn't judgemental and doesn't talk about you behind your back no matter what their concern is...because when that happens...it isn't done out of concern...its done out of pride and jeolousy and overwhelming desire to make themselves look better.

At least out of all of this I've also felt the need to apologize to some other important people in my life for not supporting them and in fact making them feel like I feel. I guess its just one of those things you aren't going to understand what you are doing until it happens to you directly.

So if you don't see many other posts on this journal for a while its just because I know I'm not looked upon highly and I'd rather just step away than try and stand up for myself against the damage that has already been done.

I apologize if this post is depressing or even offensive for some to read but its the best way, I felt, for me to express how I've been feeling lately.

Back to school....Back to school

2006-01-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

Well, a quick update to whats going on. School is back in session and I'm already dreading my choice to do 18 credit hours on top of working and a boyfriend among other regular weekly social "engagements". Anyway, I'm excited to get it over with though. For the most part I don't think prof's are going to be that bad this quarter...no wait...yeah I'm not too excited about it. Especially for my communication courses. I've been blessed to have had a couple of really energetic professors who you can tell love what they do...however this quarter...they don't seem to excited to be there and therefore think we shouldn't enjoy being there either. Oh well...graduation is in sight.

Well..I told you it would be a quick update. I'm pretty tired so I'm gonna settle down for a nap.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

Have a good afternoon

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T04:13:00.000-08:00

Well, Happy New Year ladies. I hope everyone rang in the new year in their own special way. I was excited about how I spent new years eve...for the most part. PC and I went over to my parents house (Pepto joined us after practice) and played board games and ate sloppy joes. It was so much fun just seeing my parents and PC so relaxed around one another. Now don't worry, we don't do everything with my parents...I just realized that the last two posts have been about us hanging out with my parents. No we still get plenty of time with just the two of us and hanging out with other people too.

So anyway, my mom mentioned about how much fun she had and that we would have to do that more often. I've decided I've become a huge fan of board games lately. I guess I didn't get a chance to play them much or see them as much fun as a kid since I was an only child...but now that I'm older, its more fun for my parents to play "adult" board games with me and I have other people at the house to play with too. You'll notice I put "" around adult because there are some games that leave you questioning but they are a lot of fun. One of the ones I got for Christmas that we played last night was "Apples to Apples" its actually intended for people or children to learn new verbs and be able to match nouns that they appropriately describe. When you play with me and most of my friends...you end up laying down more silly cards(oftentimes the decriptions on the red card end up making it more funny). Anyway, the judge each round then picks the card they think is best described by the green (verb) card and whoever layed that red card down gets to keep the green card...the first person to get however many green cards wins. I finally broke my loosing streak and won last night. You might get a kick out of my best one:

Green Card: Devastating (and then it listed like 3 synonyms)

I layed down a red card that said : The Great Depression...too bad prozac wasn't invented 6 decades earlier : )

Another funny quote that came from my mom...
Green Card: Responsible

Pepto layed down a red card that said: Atomic *o*b (don't know...don't ask)

My mom didn't pick that one but at the end of the round Pepto said...i thought it was dumb enough that you would for sure pick that one...

To which my mom replies in a heart beat..."Atomic B*m*s aren't resposible they're stupid"

So do you see the humor...its kinda fun. (Maybe you had to be there)

[I didn't want to put the whole word down for the simple reason that I don't want to be labled a threat if someone comes across this journal because they did a search for the "B" word...so put the two words with starts together and you'll figure it out...I know its dumb but I'm trying to protect myself]

Anyway, we didn't stay at my parents to ring in the new year. I was going to come back to the house but because of other stuff ended up going over to PC's place until the new year so we could spend our first new year together. Unfortunately we couldnt' stay at my parents because PC had to get to bed right after the new year because he's working today...another 4 am alarm. It was exciting getting a new year kiss (oh yeah...did you know...we're kissing now....yeah sorry that was lame). When I headed back here Pepto was in bed and BlueJacket (the other roommate who's back from break) still wasnt' home...so I guess I was glad I went over there for a bit.

I'm sure you've already noticed that PC and I have been spending a lot of time together now because starting tuesday I'm not going to get much of a chance to see him this quarter. I'm taking 18 credit hours on top of work (which I now am moving up into sales floor leadership ... at least I have a key now), and I meet weekly with two awesome girls at school to do bible study, and I meet with HBM to do bible study and just talk about life. So yeah, graduation is within sight but this quarter is going to be super busy...but I'm going to do my best to not let it get to me.

I guess thats it for now...I need to finish getting ready for church.

Have a great day.

Quick updates

2005-12-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess its my own fault that I haven't been journaling and therefore feel a little out of the loop. I've appreciated the random comments people have left on the messages I have put up. Right now its kinda late and I'm getting kinda sleepy so this will be short.

I feel like things have been going pretty well lately...with PC and I that is. I've enjoyed so much getting to know him and the fact that he enjoys getting to know me. I'm not going to go into deep detail of course because I'm sure you all are sick of reading about that (be honest).

I will say one quick thing...my parents and PC and I went North to visit my Grammy, Aunt C, Grandma, Aunt W, and Aunt B...we had a lot of fun. We even rode there together which could have had potential of being super frustrating and stressful but we all genuinely had fun. Also my aunts and grandma's seemed to like PC a lot which means a lot to me. And the whole time he was just being himself. And we were being ourselves together as we normally are. I'm actually looking forward to going out with my parents again on Friday to celebrate Dad's birthday. Now don't get worried...we aren't going to keep just doing doubles with my parents...although it is encouraging to know that they all like eachother so much that we enjoy spending time together now.

Granted there have been some stressfull situations happening in the last few days. Lets just say things were going pretty smoothly until misunderstanding and lack of communication took place and its caused some (well lets be honest...quite a bit of ) tension. I'm sure most of you have already figured out what the situation is. I know that GOD is going to work it out and that it isn't up to me to try and iron out other peoples emotions. I need to continue to care but I can't always make everyone happy all the time (unfortunately).

Well I'm heading off for now...have a great day

Yeah I'm still alive...

2005-12-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

Sorry it has been so long since I last updated my journal. So much is going on around me and if I had the opportunity to type all day long I would tell you.

Things have been going great with PC. Its amazing how God sends you someone out of nowhere...and it is true...it comes when your not looking (well...maybe when your looking in the opposite direction). So...still lots of smiles with that.

I've been working my butt off at work lately. I reeeeeallly don't like holiday shoppers. Even at a Christian bookstore they are just sooooo pushy and needy. And if you remember all of my pet peeves about retail from a previous journal post...just know that all of them have been getting to me more lately. Anyway, I have this job for a reason. Maybe it was to meet PC...who knows ; )

I have decided that I am unsure about going into management permanently as a career. Simply because of the demands on your time. Like I said before, my boss puts in sooooo many hours and technically it is ok now because she isn't married...but if you were married...I wouldn't bet on that marriage lasting long if you spent all your time at the store catching up on stuff. So yeah...I'm keeping my eye out for other stuff.

I'm gonna have to leave for work here in a bit so I best get off this thing. I'm a little bummed that I have to work on Christmas eve until 7 (meaning I miss the Candle light service)...but I'm gonna meet PC's brother tonight after I get off work. ( I have a feeling I'm going to end up calling him Goth from what I've heard already). Sorry my update was pretty ... well....uninformative. Its to the point where I waited so long that I can't go back and fill you in on everything that has happened. But I'll try to do better for those of you who I don't see much .. or at all.

Have a MERRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS !!!!

I Believe There are...Angels among us

2005-12-18T04:41:00.000-08:00

OK, so picture that as sung by Alabama back in the day. Yeah, its not that popular of a song now but its what came to mind. So I know I've been spending all of these journals updating you all on my new-found PC but I've neglected to tell you some awesome stories of people I've encountered at work in the last week that have really just left me thinking...God is totally using that person.

As you know I've been kinda frustrated at work lately. Its the holiday season and even "christians" can get snippy if you can't give every bit of attention you have to them and be their personal shopper. I've also been frustrated with the schedule as I found out that I have to work yet another Sunday (today) and I have to work straight through the Christmas Eve service on Saturday. Needless to say, its made me wonder if I want to make those sacrifices on a regular basis by going into retail permanently...but God is still guiding me so we'll see where we go.

Anyway, the other day this older man came into the store and waited in line to buy something. Actually there didn't happen to be much of a line at the time for some reason but I was the only one at the counter when he walked up. I proceded to do the routine of questions..."how are you doing today...did you find everything...do you have a perks card...." and we just started chatting. He then pulled out a little spiral bound notebook of index cards and asked me to right down just my first name and the place we met and something that I needed prayer for. He does this everywhere he goes. Truely he is a disciple for Christ and he doesn't put limits on the idea that just cuz you work in a Christian store doesn't mean you don't need just as much prayer. So he told me how he does this everywhere he goes...just asking peoples first names and jotting down where he met them and asking what they need prayer about. Then we finished everything up and he left and came back in with a book for me to read about the birth of Christ. It is just a small "pamphlet" called "She kissed the face of God". It just so happens that there wasn't anyone else in line at the time and he asked if he could just pray for me right then and there before he left. So there we are ... me just working and this gentleman prays for me. At first I have to admit I was a little weirded out but it definately made me smile when he left to think that he creates encounters like that everywhere he goes.

Then just the other day I was helping another lady. She came up to the register and had one of our Barabus bears in her hand. (Those are the bears that we offer to sell but are also providing the opportunity to others to "adopt" them and send them to local foster children over the holiday). Well normally if they bring up a bear to the counter they are wanting to take it home and if they just bring up a little card they are just going to make a donation. This lady brought the bear up and laid it down but said she wanted to adopt it ... so I scanned the appropriate bar code and then just set the bear aside. We were finishing up the transaction and I asked if there was anything else I could help her with and she said she actually wanted to pray over there bear before she left. She held the bear and prayed outloud to God to just bless the child that recieved that bear. Can you believe it?!?!?!?! She could have easily just made her donation and walked out the door paying the "debt she owes society" by helping out the needy but she wanted to make sure that not only did a child receive that bear but that that child would be blessed and understand the love of Jesus showing through that.

So yeah, works been a pain but God is definately sending people around me that are expressing the real meaning of service to Christ and humility and overall reliance on the Lord. So pray for those people that God continues to use them whereever they go.

Also, If you could keep another co-worker of mine in your prayers. This is actually one of the only ones I had found it harder to get along with before but tragedy has taken a toll on her. She was in a horrible car accident the other night (her birthday) as she was heading to work from the Cedarville area with her roommate...later to meet with another c0-worker for dinner. The girl I know was driving (don't know the exact cause) but her friend died at the scene and she had some serious damage to her jaw. So not that it is a hard enough situation that this is all happening at all but that it was her birthday and around Christmas making it a very hard thing to get past in the future.

I hope everyone has a blessed Sunday.

STILL Smiling : D

2005-12-17T04:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I guess I've just gotten into the habit of updating my journal in the morning. By the time I get home and "settled" down for the evening I'm ready to go to bed anymore. GEEEZE I sound old. (J/K)

Anyway, I haven't updated in a while but I can't go all the way back to the beginning and start all over. I will, however, tell you that this are still going great with me and PC. In fact, he is gaining his name more and more.

I was so happy that PC decided to come to the cantata last night. I guess he never "committed" to it before because he didn't want to just say "yeah, I'll be there and show up."....he wanted it to be more of a surprise. But I have to say, when he finally told me he was going to come to the Christmas Cantata last night I was pretty scared. Just because I was worried about what he would think about "everything". We got there early because I had to practice with the rest of the choir so he got a chance to meet Piano Man and TV Dinner who were there to watch the performance. I think things went over pretty well. I was nervous about just dropping him off...like hey you don't know any of these people sitting around you but thanks for coming. But it went well and I guess they had a good time...talking about me : P. During the performance I found myself trying read his facial expressions the entire time but it was dark so I couldn't tell and he keeps a straight face a lot of the time anyway. I wasn't intentinoally not smiling...I was just nervous in my own way.

Anyway, we did the show and it turned out great. All the soloists and "mini" choirs were right on target. If they "messed" up they got back on without anyone noticing. I kinda felt a little shacky for the first part of my song and I'm pretty sure you could tell but I gained more confidence as it went on and the choir joined in. And while I knew that PC wouldn't say anything bad about my song I was still nervous about singing in front of him for the first time.

Right after it was over I went down to see him....he just had this serious look on his face like he was trying to hold back a smile though. I just smiled at him and after like 5 minutes of getting it out of him he finally told me what he thought. Can I just say I never smiled sooooooo big. I've received a lot of compliments before but I guess for him to say what he did made me feel so special. I told him it meant soo much to me that he said that because I was so nervous about what he would think before hand. And while I'm not going to tell you everything he said I will give you a peek....he said when he saw me get up to go sing the solo he just felt so excited and proud that I was his girl : D

Enough about that...finally we decided we should mingle with other people other than ourselves and Crazy Guy came over and started talking with us. Crazy Guy and PC are the same age so I guess it should have been expected that they seemed to get along so well. It was just funny that Crazy Guy was bringing up "memories" and weird ones from when he took me to prom my senior year. They seemed to get along great and any time I was in the room I had this creepy feeling that they were talking about me and looking at me...and any time I would turn around they would at least act like they meant for me to hear what they were saying. Oh well....I'm glad PC got along well with him.

Then we had dinner with Elvis, HBM, Pita Pocket, Pepto, and Homeslice. That was fun. Pita Pocket kept getting a kick out of saying "HEY Stacy"....and then he would laugh because the rest of us would laugh. Then he kept doing it over and over again. Then Pepto was like...hey say my name....and he looks at her and says "HEY Stacy"...that lasted for a while but then he moved on. I was funny. Before too long Pita Pocket was under the table tapping at my knee through the table cloth...and any time I would get him he would screech....he thought that was a fun game for a while too. I think he liked PC...he never really talked at him but he kept looking at him and then toward the end he was trying to get PC to chase him.

Finally after dinner we headed out and talked for a while before he took me back home. Can I just say again....that I reeeealllllyyyy like this guy.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'll ttyl

Shower of Blessings

2005-12-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

I hope you all are doing GRRRREAT. Sorry I didn't post anything last night. I was pretty tired by the time I came in and I needed to spend a little time with Pepto before I headed to bed, and I figured I could update my journal later.

Yesturday was a good day. I ended up staying at my parents house Monday night because I was gonna have to get up early in the AM to take Dad to his eye doctor follow up appt. from his surgery on Monday. Luckily I was able to get up without much trouble at all and get him over there. He was pretty funny though because he was sooooo excited about all the stuff he could see that he wasn't able to see clearly before even with glasses (kinda makes you scared that he was even driving huh? : ) )...anyway, as we are driving around yesturday morning he's reading road signs too me and pretty much anything within sight. Soon he started apologizing for being so "weird" and I said as long as you are in a good mood ... and I guess as long as no one else is around either ( i didn't say that though : P ). After his appt. we went to Bob Evan's for breakfast and got to talk about some stuff. Its funny how this eye surgery may have helped to give him hope that the stuff he has gone through in the past came be conquered as far as spiritual stuff is concerned ( weird association but it isn't for you all to understand anyway). So I was telling him how I have seen God really blessing me in many different areas since I "gave up" my role on the praise team TO HIM. But like I said before, by no means am I giving up the gift that I feel he has given me...I am just putting it in his hands and letting go of something that I was starting to hold on for myself. But like I was saying...God truely has just been pouring out soooo many blessings which, for me, reaffirms that for right now...I made the right choice.

After that I headed back to the house to take care of some laundry and relax a little before meeting HBM at Tim Horton's. We had a lot of fun this evening. Of course I feel like I talked her ear off about PC this and PC that....its just the newest exciting thing that is happening in my life and right now no one is tired of hearing about it (YET). She also gave my a b-day present...it was pretty smelling candles. I was super excited about that because I like candles. We haven't had then lite here at the house for a while because we keep forgetting to get lighters. We finished up about 10 till and I called PC to meet up with him. I was just thinking he would come over and we could chill at the house. WEll much to my surprise...he was like..."Hey...you want to go to dinner with my parents"...ok so I guess I deserved it because I didn't tell him about my parents going to the same church as me until well...Sunday morning.

It turns out his Step Dad was not in a very good mood so he didn't join us but PC, myself and PC's mom went to a chinese place in Xenia for dinner. We had a good time just chatting about where they had grown up and what Josh was like as a kid and the pets they had and stuff. She seemed really nice and I think she likes me...I guess we'll just see what I find out from PC next time I see him (which will probably be tonight). I know we've been seeing eachother a lot lately but once school starts up for winter quarter...I'm going to be super busy with my 18 credit hours on top of working...so I want to get to know him as much as possible now. Anyway...enough with the tangent. After dinner we just drove around and talked some more. He took me by a couple of places that he used to live growing up in the Fairbornia area. Then when we got back to his place where my car was...i ended up getting lost in his plat trying to get out and taking about 5-10 minutes longer getting home than it probably should have. Oh well...it was dark.

Well I'm heading off to work. Doing the 10 -6 shift and then back here for the evening. Probably doing something PC and or PC and Pepto so the two of them can get to know each other too.

I hope you all have a great day.

Peace out!

What a GRRRRREAT Day

2005-12-11T20:24:00.000-08:00

Ok....well I had a whole thing typed out to tell the story of today but you can tell from the title that it went over well. I'm sorry I"m too tired to type it again but it looks like I've just expereience the whole thing with the computer not adequately posting my entry (sad ... I know).

Hopefully i'll have more energy to type tomorrow and fill you all in. But for any of you who didn't pick up on it already...it is official now.

Have a great night.

Update #2

2005-12-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

Alright

Now, I want you ALL to be on your best behavior tomorrow. PC called me this evening and affirmed that he would be joining me at church in the AM. So, of course, if I wasn't nervous enough before I'm even more nervous now. Lets just say, this encounter will be interesting in meeting all of you and my parents for the first time as well as everyone else at church who's been asking me if I've been dating anyone ... all the time. So please please please please please pray for this event tomorrow. I'm really excited and really nervous and I just want God to be glorified in it all.

Peace out

Update

2005-12-10T15:03:00.000-08:00

Ok girls...since you all are being so nosey about this whole thing : )... I thought I could go into a little more detail. However, I must preface this with the fact that I told PC (i'll call him Prince Charming for now until I can think of a better name) that I was telling you all about this and how excited you all were and he got really really embarased. So please, when you meet him don't say anything about it....he thought it felt weird that he has an audience....so to speak.

So, where to begin. I get off work at 6:00 and give PC a call. He was already on his way but he asked if he could "TAKE" me to dinner before we headed to the movie. Emphasis on the work "TAKE" because I offered to pay for my own and he said he wouldnt' have asked to TAKE me if he was expecting me to pay. So anyway, we went to dinner and had some more great discussion. Then we decided to head to the theater and when we pulled up we saw that it was packed out...so we decided to head to showcase cinemas to see if CoN was showing there and still open. This whole time attempting to find and earlier movie so that we could get back sooner since he had to be at work earlier. Well we went to Showcase and all the movies had already started so we decided not to stay there. He saw this table with King Kong t-shirts that you could get for free by filling out a cc application. He didn't want the credit card but he DID want the t-shirt. He has a thing for monster movies. Anyway, so we are sitting in the lobby at showcase while he is filling out this application and he goes up to turn it in...and the lady gives us two shirts. Yeah, I got a shirt because He filled out the application. (woohoo)...then he kept giving me a hard time saying I should give him my t-shirt so that he could wear it while he was washing the other one. I told him NO of course claiming that I earned it while waiting for him to finish the application. Then he jokingly suggested we should where them out sometime when we are somewhere together.

Well we start heading to Danbury to see a movie...all the while...its getting later and later and by the time we get there we end up seeing Corpse Bride showing at 9:15 (two hours after he said he didn't want to see anything past a 7:40 showing). Anyway, we were early to the theater so we go to sit down and have like 20 minutes to talk before the show starts. Again, chatting and just getting to know each other...now getting comfortable enough to pick on eachother and so that was a lot of fun.

After the movie we were heading to the car and we get in and I'm shivering like crazy. Well I already told you about how he offered me his coat....so yeah, that left me just amazed. He truely is a gentleman and that is really nice.

Like I said he might go to church with me in the morning. I'm really really hoping that he doesn't have to work so he'll be able to come. I've been praying about it a lot and I'm hoping that he enjoys it and feels really welcome there...which I'm sure there won't be too much of a problem with (but you know there is always room to worry). So I'm waiting to hear from him this evening.

Ok, so there you have it...that was the evening. Granted there were a few other little things here and there that I may have left out...but those are stories for face to face...sorry.

Ok, hope you all are doing well. Have a great night.

Can I Just Say YAY

2005-12-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

Well the second date went awesome...just like the first date. And the story is just as long as the first date one but since it is late enough now...i'm not going to go into all the details (sorry ladies)...but I'm sure I can spare a few in person when I see you next. But just so you know he proved himself to be quite a gentleman...the biggest thing being that he offered his coat in the freezing cold car for me to warm up with.

Anyway, we didn't get to see Narnia but after three tries we did finally go see a movie at the Danbury theater by the Dayton Mall. Poor guy has to get up at the crack of dawn to go stand post at the base tomorrow morning so we couldn't stay out too late...although 11:00 is pretty late when you have to wake up at 4am.

So now I'm here getting ready for bed so I can head to work..yet again in the morning. He may be going to church with me on Sunday...(Let me repeat ... MAY be)....so you all may get to meet him depending on how things go.

I'm off to bed now...definately sleepy.

Have a great night and a great day tomorrow.

Stacy

Thursday

2005-12-08T18:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, so no incredibly exciting stuff happened today. But like Pepto said...I can't complain cuz the last couple of days have been seriously AWESOME. I woke up early and did Tae Bo for the first time in a long time. Boy have I gotten out of shape but I don't have any excuses now since I have a TV in my private room for me to be able to do it every morning if I have to.

So I worked another 8 hour day today and we were really really busy. It didn't bother me AS much as Monday, but I guess we were handling it better and I had some other stuff on my mind if you know what I mean. I'm excited about going to the movies tomorrow. Now that I hear it may be sold out though...I don't know what we are going to end up doing. Hopefully he remembers. I think I got really excited about how the first date went but one of the real tests comes with the 2nd date. I guess I'm just so paranoid that seeing how amazing it went yesturday, something bad might still happen. Now I don't WANT anything bad to happen. After re-living the events of yesturday in my head today (even the awkward ones at times) I've decided it really would be awesome if things worked out with this guy. I also know I need to keep a good head on my shoulds and realize that we need to get to know eachother a little more before I think too far into it. But I must say with as much as we talked about yesturday...there isn't a whole lot left (j/k).

Anyway, I'm just sitting here chillin' for now.